Up early

I’m still up. 1:45AM. It’s a classic sleepless night before an early morning. My thought patterns are awful and I just want to sleep. Everything is loud in my head. I need to stop thinking.  The noisy ac unit. The tireless helicopter looking for more poor people to fine and imprison. The bones of a ceiling […]



It feels like a blanket of darkness falls upon you. You are unable to see the future, nor know what to do, how to react. You procrastinate, things don’t get done. You panic. You know you’re suppose to sort your shit out but for some weird reason there is this lack of energy you have that […]


The Final Leap into Happiness

Blair Lewis in The Happiness Revolution says, “To make the final leap to happiness, all you have to do is accept your entire life, history, and habits.” Upon reading this my first thought was a sarcastic, “Gee, is that all?” That level of acceptance is no easy task. Although, it is a whole lot easier than […]


Be Brave! Even if you’re not, pretend to be.

Today is a rare day off work and I’m currently still in bed, dog curled up in the preferred doughnut formation beside me. Enjoyable at 9.20am – not so enjoyable at 3.30am when his resting place of choice is on my pillow – preferably without my presence. 🙂 Having pets and having anxiety is a […]


A fire cant burn forever

The flames begin as bright rage a train wreck of rushing water through broken windpipes and out of tune voice boxes/ an endless series of darts thrown head on a fistful of promises and crushed violets an exposed wire knotting my arms into concrete force of bitter beginnings   but you know what they say […]


The Myth of the Fatal Flaw

The fatal flaw.Like Indiana Jones, I’ve quested for it.Slayed dragons just to find it. I’ve examined myself so hard that through my crossed, rolled, and exhausted eyes even my strengths have become flaws. Like the trooper I am, I’ve tried to fix all of them, unsure which one was the fatal one. According to Mark […]


Bye mood stabiliser, hello personality.

Well, what can I say? Coming off lithium is quite frankly the best decision I’ve ever made. I feel like myself again! I hadn’t realised just how dulled down I had become, how my emotional range was that of an inanimate object. Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but hey! I was either sad, elated, […]


gone are those ok days

Just because a person is smiling, laughing and talking candidly infront of you doesn’t mean he is feeling completely ok. He could put on a facade, he could be anything but happy.  We are oscar worthy actors in our own stories. It’s easy to put on a facade and satisfy the audience, giving what […]