So, in light of my terrible, terrible weekend, I decided to return to the doctor today & take my significant other with me for the first time. It was a big step for me, because I’m the worst at letting people in, talking about things, or giving an insight to how I feel. On the […]
Fact – I overthink too much and it’s ruining my life. Once upon a time there was a little girl, who didn’t know how to deal with loss, so she didn’t deal with at all. She cried herself to sleep and wrote letters going nowhere. She felt sadness so deeply that she could never properly […]
This evening I’m talking about something close to home, living with anxiety and my new favourite book!
The self medicating all started for me when i would work 6 to 7 days a week and as soon as i returned home from work i would take a drink to deal with the stress and anxiety, only it was never one drink it was always a bottle, which soon became two then three and four and before i knew it i was deep in the grip of addiction, but because i was still getting up and going to work every day i refused to admit i had a problem until it hit me full on and i lost everything. The truth of the matter is the alcohol actually was never the problem, it was the solution, and it worked and worked very well until it stopped working. In actual fact the main underlying problem had never been addressed correctly as id suffered with severe anxiety and panic disorder aswell as ocd for years and rather than seek the right medical advice and medication and therapy, i self medicated myself with the now known poison that is red wine. Very bad move on my part. Although i was to proud and embarrassed at the same time i was really suffering inside my mind. I just couldn’t cope. The daily battle was a painful tortures one that eventually came right back round and struck me down like lightening. Not only was i now a fully blown addict who was alcohol dependant i now had massive anxiety and panic attacks often like never before which then grew in to agoraphobia. Not only now was i imprisoned in my mind but now in body aswell, as i was unable to leave the house without debilitating fear and panic. So i would drink more in order to counteract the pain of fear, which just wouldn’t work any longer so i would drink some more until my body was just screaming out at me with mercy. It got to the point where i literally could not get drunk any longer and no sooner had i took the drink my body would reject it instantly with pleads of disapproval and pain. It was an horrendous time in my life and one which at times people questioned with worry that if i was going to die.
By Brett Pomfrey
To all my fellow Bloggers and Followers I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone one of you for your heart felt content that you share on a regular basis and it clearly shows proof that we can change the thinking of small narrow minded ignorant people or that being said people who just have a lack of understanding of mental health illnesses and the pain and trauma that it causes us sufferers on a daily basis through lack of education and labelling. Great work guys I’m with you all the way. We are all like minded people who are going through similar things That we have encountered in our life’s. Stay strong you are not alone and remember we do Recover.