Day: July 16, 2015
THE FIRST STEP IS THE HARDEST…BUT THE BEST STEP YOU WILL EVER TAKE…
Be under no illusion that its going be easy because its not but I can promise you this, it does get easier. I say this from experience you need to have the tools in your locker ready for the testing times which will come along. You’ve got to still accept that it is real life and dramas and dilemmas are going to happen all the way throughout your recovery and life after. But its about being prepared and how to deal with the thoughts and feelings which will tempt you into deviating from your recovery and make it seem logical to pick the substance back up, to seemingly give you that short term quick fix. But if you’re prepared and you deal with what ever comes your way with the tools and knowledge you’ve gained in recovery you can have confidence in yourself that you will be able to step up to the mark when those times arise, and continue to build the better life that you have started to lead. Don’t be tricked and let your mind have you over, keep it simple and it does get better, miles bette I promise you of that. One of the worst is rejection that is a real powerful one but you’ve got to learn to be able to take things on the chin sometimes in life. Because oh woo is me doesn’t work believe me I’ve tried it several times. You’ve got to stand toe to toe and accept life on life’s terms. It wont just mysteriously disappear and go away like magic with the action of having a drink or a drug. That doesn’t work either. We all know that more than anyone; It’s that quick fix to destruction. Talk about it, talking is probably the best medicine ever invented and to top it all its free. Tell someone what its like for you at the minute; whats going on, two minds are better than one. And considering we always seem to know in our selfish ways that we know best. But if that was true then surely if we really did know best we wouldn’t be in addiction in the first place would we.? The same goes for not beating yourself up either. Of how, what, when and why we ended up like this in addiction. Just accept it and think of it as another chance, another shot at life. Because unfortunately the reality is you’re here with this chance and theres others that don’t even get this chance and are taken from us by the poison we once called our drug of choice. Thinking about the hows and whys never got anybody clean and sober. But thinking about the solution sure did. I’m proof right here. It can be done you just need to focus on whats right and be rational with your thinking. It’s no good someone telling you your not going to run things through your head a lot, because you are, naturally its the way the mind works and while we are in recovery we are vulnerable so we need to be aware of our thoughts and rationalise them in a realistic manner. If something is bothering you speak to someone, tell them. Share your issue, hear somebody else’s opinion. You will be surprised at the amount of times you will think back to yourself after having a chat and think yes they were right I was wrong or oh yes thats right. Its because with thought at length living in our own minds and heads. The mind can play tricks on us and sometimes convince us of answers and outcomes in our own head no matter how crazy or irrational the thoughts are. Thats why speaking with someone especially a like minded person or a drug and alcohol worker or even a councillor. And after a period of time you’ll find that you start to be able to rationalise these thoughts yourself with the tools you have been given by the knowledge and experience you’ve learnt. And like I said earlier it does get easier. It won’t happen over night and you will have to put the action in and be open and willing to change your life around by doing what is suggested. But the outcome and rewards of that better way of life at the end of it will be worth it trust me. I’ve done it and i love it and every one of you can have it. You’ve just got to want it. And like me if you do, you will reach out and ask for help. Don’t be ashamed or embaresed because it’s ok. The first step in recovery is the biggest by far. By holding your hand up and admitting to yourself that you have got a problem and you need some help. Because that is the ego broken instantly and being open for experienced people who have been there to show you the way and help you every step of the way through your recovery journey so we can succeed in getting that better life that you so deserve and long for together.
By Brett Pomfrey
SUMMER URGES AND CRAVINGS
THE HARSH REALITY IS THAT IT IS ALL AROUND US, WITH SUMMER JUST AROUND THE CORNER AS THE SUN BEGINS TO SHINE AND THE DRINKS BEGIN TO FLOW. THE ADDICTION RECOVERY STARTS TO MOVE INTO THE TOP GEARS AS THE TEST OF TIME BEGINS TO TELL. I THINK PERSONALY IT IS A MASSIVE SOCIAL PART THAT BEING TRUTHFUL I DO OFTEN CRAVE, ESPECIALY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. BUT HAVING JUST WITH STOOD THE MANCHESTER DERBY WITHOUT SUBSTANCES INSIDE ME ONCE AGAIN. I CAN BE PROUD THAT I HAVENT PICKED UP THAT DRINK AND I HAVE CONTINUED DOWN THE PATH OF MY RECOVERY. IT WAS SAID TO ME IN THE TIMES OF MY CHAOS AFTER REACHING OUT TO A LOCAL ALCOHOL AND DRUG RECOVERY ORGANISATION (R.A.M.P ACCORN OLDHAM) THAT I WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE MY LIFE COMPLETLY IN ORDER TO RECOVER. AFTER A LONG HARD AND PAINFUL BATTLE WITH MY MIND AND EGO I FINALY CAME TO A PLACE OF SURRENDER AS MY ADDICTION BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES. THE PENNY HAD FINALY DROPPED AS I REALISED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO DO AS SUGESTED AND COMPLETLEY CHANGE MY LIFE IF I WAS TO STAY ABSTINANT AND MAINTAIN MY RECOVERY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY STAY ALIVE. AS I WAS THEN ABLE TO START TO HAVE A LOOK AT MYSELF INSIDE AND START TO WORK ON AND CHANGE MY BEHAVIOURS, MY WAYS AND HOW I TREAT OTHERS. THIS ILLNESS HAS MASSIVE CONSEQUENCES AND THE RIPPLE EFFECT IS MASSIVE. ITS ONLY WHEN YOU PUT THE SUBSTANCES DOWN THAT THE FOG BEGINS TO LIFT, CREATING A CLEARER PICTURE AND TRUE UN ANETHATISED EMOTIONS THAT YOU STOP AND REALISE AND SAY TO YOURSELF THAAT CHAOS IS JUST PURE AND INTOLURABLE PAIN. NOW AFTER A PERIOD OF MOURNING THE SUBSTANCES AND THAT I HAVE STARTED TO ADDRESS MY UNDERLYING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ALSO, GROWTH IS BEGINING TO HAPPEN AND MY LIFE IS MOVING FORWARD IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. (JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE AND TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME AND REMEMBER WE DO RECOVER)
A MINUTE AWAY..
It’s become apparent to me that leading a life in depression and anxiety aswel as ocd is a full time job 24/7 with no weekends off or holidays. To look forward to. It’s like being a prisoner. But not only a prisoner off these four walls but that off a prisoner of my own mind. I am the prisoner, I’m the guard, I’m the governor and the visitor. But yet still I can’t seem to find the right key for the lock to open the gate to freedom. The sentence I carry is one off which is unimaginable to most, and that is the one of not knowing if and when. But like anything I suppose you become a custom to it and adapt to your own bubble, That safety haven, that so called protects you from the world outside. But yet halting you from a sea of countless opportunitys and endless memories. But It’s ok because I’ve got these four walls for that. I could even describe every square inch to you off it if I had to. But I don’t want to, you see that’s just it. The visions and creative ideas I have on a daily basis are wonderful, let alone the journeys that I plan. To only then sit with them for a while as they fester through my mind disabling all them good and positive feelings that are bursting to get out and make these great plans come to fruition. Yet I say great plans but to most it would seem are everyday regular tasks that are undertaken on auto pilot without even a second thought for how what when or why. But them four walls seem to be my best friends and always carry what they call fantastic advice, preventing me from fulfilling a task that I would love to carry out. You see the way I’m talking, you would think that I’m about to set of on a journey across the dessert single handedly or about to board a spacecraft to the moon or even set sail on an unknown voyage like the great sir Francis drake undertook. But you see that’s just it. It is actually those things, in fact it’s all those things undertaken all at once with my old mates how what when and why. But yet that to me is to put my socks and underwear on and get dressed, as I start hyperventilating with just the the thought of this daunting task even before I have walked out the door. But yet like a warrior when it’s a good day and by that I mean when I can even manage to get dressed or even get out of bed. I open my the blinds and take in a deep breath as I gaze at the sun beaming down, reflecting of the windows. And then it starts, the great master plan, of what I’m going to do on this great day, as my mind races with potential exciting journeys and trips I could take, things I could look at, people I could visit, places I could go. But then as my mind overloads with overwhelming ideas and thoughts it grinds to a halt, as if the lights on a busy road have just turned red. And then it arrives crossing over infront of me, the doubt, the self talking anguish and safety behaviour thoughts, the whys, the what ifs, and cants. You see that’s just it in insight the plans and thoughts i have on a daily basis are that of an admiral leading his fleet in to battle, the plan of a journey or quest set by a great journey man. But the truth of the matter is, thats all they are because I’m in here aren’t I, I’m in prison, inside these four walls I cherish so deeply. Then the depression kicks in, the reality of this so called existence that they call life. The reality hits home hard as I sit for a While trying to decide how To delegate and arrange for someone to collect some essentials from a Near by shop. Some would say I’m lucky you see I have a shop just across the road from me no more than a minute away people say. I’d smile and nod and agree with them, as my head really knows the truth. You see the truth of the matter is that shop is a million miles away for me. I would have to dress for combat and walk through fields of land mines and battle my way through razor wire and barbed wire fence, as vicious guard dogs chase me while being fired at by snipers from all angels, And then the air starts to get thin as if I’m getting closer to the summit of a gigantic mountain. But hey it’s only a minute away.
CHANGES
ITS NOT JUST ABOUT PUTTING THE SUBSTANCES DOWN…
ITS ABOUT CHANGING YOUR THINKING, YOUR BEHAVIOURS AND YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS OTHERS. THATS WHAT CHANGES YOUR LIFE. SO GO ON PUT THE SUBSTANCE DOWN, WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, FREE YOURSELF FROM THE PAIN AND MISSERY OF ADDICTION. WE ARE HEAR TO HELP, ONE ADDICT TO ANOTHER. DOING IT TOGETHER.
BUT REMEMBER, NOBODY SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE EASY, THEY JUST SAID THAT IT WOULD BE WORTH IT.
CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY !!!!!