We are always going to have wars in our head while recovering from an addiction, that is pretty much a given. But its about collecting the tools from others that are like minded people who have experienced the same things that you are going through, and with a bit of guidance from these fellow comrades showing you what tools to use for which task. You will eventualy with plenty of practice feel at ease with yourself and be able to conquer your demons and fears and keep them at bay while you begin to build the foundations of your fortress with a moat round it and heavily guarded by troops ready for any threat of relapse invasion that comes your way. In layman’s terms what im trying to say is you wouldnt screw a screw in with a hammer would you. Its about obtaining the screw driver and using that to tighten the screw, the same as if you need to hammer a nail in a piece off wood you would take your hammer and and use that because its the right tool for the job and it would have a possitive outcome. Where as if you used a screwdriver to hammer a nail in it would be virtualy imposible to do and that would be a negative outcome. Its the same as the old saying if you like. ALL THE GEAR NO IDEA. you could have the best set off golf clubs man and science has created and that money can buy, but if you cant play golf and dont know which clubs to use the chances are your not going to score on any hole. But with the right information and guidance from someone who’s already learnt to play golf. With practice and perseverance, eventualy you will start to score on some holes and then before long your scoring on all of them more or less because you have been given the information and youve been given the tools and shown what to do with what and then you’ve achieved it with a positive outcome that you would have never got with your own info based on nothing and your potluck lottery approach by chosing a club at random. Nobody said it was going to be easy they just said that it would be worth it.